Being a C Student

The very first day of my yoga teacher training, our lead instructor explained to us how the course was set up: how many hours of each type of class were required to meet National Yoga Alliance guidelines and how many hours of each type of class our training actually had. The course was designed with extra hours in it so that if we got sick or if something else came up, we had a little wiggle room and could still meet the requirements. Additionally, though, he suggested that maybe we should consider as our goal for the course being C students, that maybe we didn't really need to give 100% to the course but scale it down a bit and see what that looked like to study yoga seriously but still have a balanced life and enjoy the beach a little. Basically, he said, we should see what it's like to play hooky just a little and learn about yoga that way, too.

I was intrigued by the suggestion and my brain was spinning as I left class. How many classes exactly would I need to miss to be a C student? Did skipping a class count if I didn't go to the beach? What if I stayed home and worked on my sample lesson plan? Could I still be a C student in that case? And were some classes weighted heavier than others, so should I be careful about which ones I missed? It took me a while but I eventually realized that I was trying to get an A in being a C student.

The other night I was having a conversation with a friend about making changes in our lives, about what it takes to change. We both agreed that one of the odd requirements for change seems to be a softening and an acceptance, an ease, with our current condition. So, trying really hard often works against the change, while relaxing into the present moment allows us to move.

In one of my previous jobs, I worked with a child with a particular behavior we were trying to squelch. I tried everything, the parents tried everything, his therapists tried everything and nothing worked. So I started taking data on his behavior, its antecedents, my responses and the results. As I watched myself from this more objective vantage point, I realized that actually I wasn't trying everything. I had a very small list of responses that I would run through with ever greater levels of frustration before giving up in despair. Once I just stopped and looked at the situation I could immediately see new options that had never occurred to me. The behavior was gone within 2 weeks.

We put such high value on working for results, on trying. I think sometimes all of our trying is focused all in the wrong direction and we can't quite understand why we're not getting anywhere. Have you heard the analogy of life being like a river and we work so hard to cling to a rock in the middle? We think we're making progress, we think we're staying afloat. After all, we're working so damn hard, we MUST be getting somewhere, right? But if we just let go, the river will take us anywhere we need to go.

copyright 2007 J. Autumn Needles