True Story

What I realize as I write these posts is that I am really telling the same story over and over again. It's me trying to remind myself of something, something important. Here is the story again.

I have a memory of being in Austria. I approached my travel abroad in very characteristic fashion. I read, I researched, I packed carefully, and I knew before I went what my experience would be because I had it planned. I used Let's Go Europe (1987) as my bible for travel. I would tear out the sections on the countries I would visit and figure out what to see. I took my Austria section with me to Salzburg.

Now, if I think very carefully back to that time and work at it, I can remember visiting lots of beautiful old buildings with my Austria section in hand and a map. I would follow the directions in my guide put together with the map and find myself at some building somewhere. I was never quite sure that I was really and truly where I thought I was, because all of the buildings were old and beautiful and they all kind of looked the same. I didn't speak the language and I couldn't afford to take a tour in English and I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to get IN to the buildings. Were they closed for the day? Was I at the wrong place? I kept feeling like something was supposed to be happening. I was supposed to be having a revelatory experience and instead I was wandering aimlessly looking at pretty buildings and wondering what on earth they were for. I even splurged on a piece of torte that the city was famous for and it was dry and nasty.

This is what I remember if I work at it: aimlessness, frustration, confusion, self-criticism, disappointment.

This is what I remember if I don't work at it: magic, beauty, wonder, belonging.

When I let my memory drift back to that time, here is the story that comes to me: I walked one day down a street. I can't remember what I was trying to find, but what I saw was an old beautiful building with several big trees in front. The trees had something in them, something shining and colorful, so I went closer to have a look. The trees were filled with chimes and bells and streamers tied into the branches, and, when the wind blew, the trees would ring out and the streamers would flutter. The building was open and people were going in and out so I went in, too. I walked in and it was some sort of children's fair/fundraiser for something. I wandered through and saw craft booths for kids to make masks or crowns, cardboard mazes to go through, bake sales. I went to a bake sale table and bought a bag of what I thought were shortbread cookies. It turned out that they were lemon and I hate lemon. But I munched on them anyway and wandered and listened to people talking in a language I didn't know. And then I walked out into a beautiful day, eating my lemon cookies and listening to the trees chime and ring out into the air.

I always smile when I think of Salzburg. Which story is true?

copyright 2007 J. Autumn Needles